


Not While I'm Around

by writerlady



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friendship/Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-18 18:27:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11296302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerlady/pseuds/writerlady
Summary: KillerVibe Week: Day 3- The Moment You First Started Shippin' ThemAs Caitlin heals after surgery, Cisco reflects on the promise he made to her after Captain Cold and Heatwave kidnapped her three or so years ago.





	Not While I'm Around

KillerVibe Week: Day Three – The Moment You Started Shipping Them

_“I thought I was going to die.”_  
_“Not while I’m around.”_

Cisco remembered when he had said that to her. When Captain Cold and Heatwave had kidnapped her and strapped an explosive to the bottom of her chair, he and Joe rescued her.

_Julian rescued her today,_ he thought to himself as he lumbered down the hall, leaving the medical bay. _Thank God he was here._

Cisco didn’t pay attention to where he was going. He wasn’t intending on going anywhere. But when he stopped walking he found himself standing in front of the open refrigerator in the breakroom.

Six plastic containers of strawberry jello stared back at him. One for each work day and "one for good luck," he remembered her saying. They were stacked neatly in a pyramid. Three on the bottom, two in the middle, and one on top to bridge the two. The top cup had an “M” written in Caitlin’s neat script in sharpie. He wanted to chuckle because he always teased her saying legit doctors had crappy handwriting and she’d always give the same response.

“‘I know how to perform a lobotomy,’” he murmured to the empty breakroom.

The sound of his hoarse voice spooked him. He clamped his lips shut and reached for the Monday strawberry jello. He hesitated for a moment, glancing at the abundance of green apple jello shoved to the side of the rack. But even in here he could her the heart monitor and thoughts of Caitlin bleeding all over the med bay operating table earlier that day gushed through his mind. He took the strawberry gelatin and slammed the fridge shut.

_There’d be five more by the time Caitlin woke up._

He pulled a chair back from the round table and plopped down. He shoveled the red gelatin into his mouth. He glanced at the clock. It had only been an hour since she drifted off to sleep.

_“Not while I’m around.”_

Cisco had seen plenty of people hurt before, but it was always Caitlin doing the work of putting them back together. He had never seen her hurt before. At least, not hurt in that way. He had seen her hurt when Ronnie died, when she was lost and confused and without family and friends to care for her and her emotional wounds. He had seen her hurt when Ronnie turned up in Central City lost and confused and shooting fire from his hands. And there was the time Ronnie died again, and when Jay died, and when Jay turned evil because he was really some dick named Hunter, and Cisco decided he couldn’t keep up with how many times Caitlin’s been hurt without another strawberry jello because the Monday cup was empty.

So, he opened the fridge and grabbed the Tuesday and Wednesday row.

“There’s four more,” he reasoned aloud, glancing at the green apple containers.

_I need strawberry right now._

He peeled the lids off the Tuesday and Wednesday cups and slid his back down the fridge door, settling on the tiled floor.

He was convinced he could heal an emotionally hurt Caitlin, where the bruises and scars were on her heart. Heal her enough to smile, and dance, and watch movies he knows she thinks are lame but will watch with him anyway. For a moment he smiled, but it quickly soured into a deep frown. There was nothing he could do when debris from Abra Kadabra’s stunt ripped through her. Cisco crushed the empty plastic in his hand. Today, even his hands were too shaky to assist Julian, and Iris had to step in. He tossed the cup to the ground then dug his spoon into the next one.

He worked with tools of all kinds on a daily basis. He had built computers, and weapons, and gadgets. He had joked with Caitlin plenty of times before that he had even more of a surgical precision than she.

“‘Then you do Barry’s stitches next time, and I’ll recalibrate your laser gun,’” he whispered. The spoon fell out of his mouth and a tear rolled down his cheek, but he chuckled at the mental image of when she had said that to him. Her nose was wrinkled and a smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

“You’re so pretty, Cait,” he mumbles into the container before tossing his head back and wiggling the last of the gelatin into his mouth like he’s tossing back a shot of something stronger. He dropped the cup and shakily stood from the ground. He stepped over to the counter where the coffee pot was plugged up and searched the basket beside it for a takeout spoon. He found one bunched up in plastic and ripped it open.

“I should tell you that when you wake up,” he said to himself as he opened the fridge again. He took out another strawberry jello. He paused and took out another with it. “I should tell you a lot of things. Like you’re my best friend. And you’re one of only like five people I actually think’s smarter than me. And you’re mac’n’cheese kicks butt,” he paces back and forth as he rambles, shoveling spoonfuls of gelatin between words.  
He tossed the empty containers over his shoulder and grabbed another strawberry jello. He ate hungrily, standing in the middle of the cold breakroom. He scrapped his spoon along the clear bottom and sighed. His shoulders relaxed and his arms hung at his sides. The cup and spoon made a clinking noise when they hit the tile. He took a deep breath with his eyes shut and said to the bright lights that lined the ceiling.

“I should tell you I’m sorry that you almost died while I was around, and that I didn’t keep my promise.” He opened his eyes and the lights stung as they shone on his brown irises.

_But now I promise myself that while I’m around I’ll protect Caitlin. I’ll listen to what her heart wants. I’ll protect her body even if it means sacrificing my own._

He closed his eyes and dipped his chin to his chest. He let his emotions wash over him as he listened to the sound of Caitlin’s heart monitor in the distance. After a moment, he slowly opened his eyes and his vision locked on the refrigerator.

He bit his lip and said, “But I won’t tell her that I ate all the strawberry jello.”


End file.
